You’re being conscripted for a lifelong assignment; pulled immediately out of your current surroundings, and plonked down and recruited for deployment for an unknown amount of time. “Don’t worry, it will only be 5 or so more years,” they say. You have no training. The pay is pitiful, the holiday leave is shocking, you’ll need to work nights and weekends,and you can’t even file for reimbursement for all the miles traveled, hours on the phone, or mental heartache that the position requires. Being afraid of needles won’t help.
There are no blue ribbons, no perfect attendance awards, no certificates for time served. Do you like sleep? Hopefully not too much. There’s also the judgement aspect to the gig: even though your condition has nothing to do with what you’ve eaten in the past, you’ll be judged for every bite you eat (or don’t eat) for the rest of your life. Apologies in advance.
Did I mention that the pay is pitiful? Let me rephrase: you actually owe lots of money. Can’t come up with it? That’s not good. Actually, your life depends on your ability to pay, so. There’s also no 401k or retirement plan, and much of your emotional labor will go unnoticed.
We don’t provide a uniform, so even though you’re working pretty much 24/7, you’ll constantly be bombarded with comments like, “you don’t look sick!” and “but you’re …skinny!” Thanks. Our armor is invisible, but it’s gotta be tough.
Because of your position, you won’t be able to join the military. Or fly commercial airplanes. Or be a spy in the CIA. Becoming an astronaut isn’t looking good, either. Applying for the Peace Corps is tougher, and many people will doubt your abilities. Not fair? Tough. After all, YOU picked this position.
You’ll need to watch your emotions closely. Too emotional, sad, or angry, and people will simply ask if your sugar is out of range. Too sad over your role, of the unfairness of it all? Must be low. Go check your sugar. Need a mental health day? We don’t provide those around here.
And heaven forbid if you ask for counseling services while in this position. After all, what could possibly be making you feel so sad? So overwhelmed? So anxious?
Your initial orientation is between 3-5 days, and then you’ll be set free, performing all duties 100% on your own. You’ll start out in a managerial role, but the likelihood of promotion is slim.
Don’t worry, if you mess up, the risk of death isn’t drastically high. Just, you know, pretty high.
There’s no maternity leave, sorry. Our family-friendly policies actually kind of suck. You can’t quit, but the good news is, you can’t be laid off, either. Welcome to the rest of your life as a person with type 1 diabetes.
The relentlessness of living with type 1 diabetes pretty much sounds like the worst job on earth! Does living with type 1 diabetes have any perks? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
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